Determining Our Destination

The family resolved to expatriate from Indiana, but to where? I had established a list of potential places to move to a long time ago:

• Norway 
• New Zealand 
• Denmark 
• Iceland 
• Canada 

Unfortunately, my wife kiboshed those locations with what felt like unabashed glee. She quickly pointed out that the burden would be fairly significant to find a home, find a job (at least for her, since I work remotely), assimilate into the culture (we agreed it would be rude to not learn the language & customs), obtain visas and/or renounce our citizenship and apply for another. I mentioned Canada is pretty close in language (assuming we wouldn't live in Quebec) and culture, but I just got a cross look and was told think about how much this will affect our daughter.

Thus, our choice was confined to the United States of America. Which is fine, there are many things about the States that I love: the landscapes, the history, the Constitution, the diversity, the landscapes. Yes, I mentioned landscapes twice, the United States encompasses quite a varied terrain and even managed to protect some of the spectacular locations in the world despite the nature of Americans. Of course, there is plenty to dislike: the history, the violence, the hate, the politics. Yes, history is on both lists; we've accomplished great things and great, terrible things.

1^st Priority: More Privacy

One of our priorities in determining our relocation destination was that we wanted a buffer of moderate isolation. We are not talking Antarctica bunker level isolation, just that I would prefer if I cannot see my neighbors' domiciles or hear loud music reverberating from vehicles driven by angst-ridden adolescents. Basically, we want to hinder the ability of people to interfere with our lives. We have encountered neighbors (and family) pressuring us about our lack of religious convictions (or rather my conviction to lack religion), constant political solicitations, and let's not forget the endless stream of bible pushers.

My family tends to get a greater share of godbotherers than most others due to the fact that my wife was indoctrinated into the church of Latter Day Saints as a child. The mormons are a perpetual peturbation as they make their monthly pilgrimage to petition my wife to return to their pews. There doesn't seem to be an end to their pestering, and now we get mail from the snowbird wife of the local ward's bishop while she's in Florida. We've met a lack of enthusiasm from the local police about enforcing any kind of restraint (was actually told that it would be tough to restrain an entire organization 'that has good intentions').

We understand that while rural locations tend to be more conservative, there are also less people to be concerned about. The further one lives away from a population center, the less likely some missionary on a bicycle will be knocking at the door, or anyone for that matter. Besides, we enjoy nature and I look forward to serenity the wilderness affords.

2^nd Priority: Less Hate

Indiana's legalized discrimination bill thinly veiled under the guise of freedom was the last straw for our family. Watching people we know, even friends and family, scurry to the defense of the loathsome legislation was like watching an intrusion of cockroaches devour rotten garbage. It was despicable and revolting (and actually offensive to cockroaches everywhere). It's ludicrous to think that in America's current socio-political climate there is a "safe" place for progressive minds to live, but there has to be something better than the rusty bible belt. Even California, often lauded as a bastion of progressiveness, has Prop 8 and the murderous Sodomite Suppression Act.

We looked at historical legislation, recent legislation, as well as testimonies from people we know living in relatively uncongested areas, particularly the west coast (California, Oregon, & Washington) and some other states we have personally visited that we liked (Wyoming, Montana, & Idaho). Idaho and Wyoming were knocked out pretty fast by virtue of their backwards politics. Massive drought and the high cost of living crossed California off the list. Oregon was dropped from the list because we couldn't find anywhere we particularly liked and knew no one who lived there. That left Washington and Montana (my wife reminds of Hawaii, but that place is also too expensive).

This article offers an amazing summary of what we were looking for in terms of legislation. The perception of Montana is that of ultra conservative. Yet, they recently defeated their own RFRA bill (no courts or national shaming involved) and have a history of being socially liberal while holding a libertarian points of view. Montana gave women full suffrage 6 years before the ratification of the 19^th Amendment and then elected the first woman to congress in four years before it was passed (it started by giving women the right to vote in school related elections back when it was a territory in 1887). It’s the 3^rd state to recognize the right to die. And it tried to defy the Citizens United decision by SCOTUS (not directly related to civil rights, but in order to get representatives that will make the right decision, we need to get money out of politics).

3^rd Priority: Affordable & Enjoyable Property

We really loved Washington politics, but my wife is not a fan of the gloomy, rain-soaked reputation west of the Cascades, and much of the stuff east is either super-expensive islands of awesome or barren high-altitude wasteland (or at least that is the impression we get from the real estate pics and has been confirmed by our acquaintances there).

We sampled pricing on current offerings on real estate in areas we would be willing to relocate to, keeping in mind our desire to stay away from suburbia, Montana won out in availability of affordable homes (and gorgeous vistas!). We recently took a vacation to Montana and fell in love with Big Sky country. The many peaks of soaring granite calls out to my inner Muir, the mountains are calling and I must go.

There are jerks everywhere, but it feels like they are concentrated in the Bible Belt and much of the Midwest and any movement away from humidity and corn would likely yield an improvement. I have had it with this place and my sanity requires some place new. I have a hundred anecdotes of our personal dealings with fundamentalists that reside in Indiana (and about the same number from my time in the Marine Corps) and realize that utopia does not exist, but just maybe, we can find a place where the population density, and therefore the asshole density, is a lot less.

Additional Reading

• In Montana, Young, Liberal and Open to Big Government
• Montana House Kills 'Religious Freedom' Bill
• Lawyer in California Proposes Killing Gays with 'Sodomite Suppression Act'